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Tragedy Of Girls With Foreign Marriages

A wedding party between a Vietnamese girl and a foreign man

Many girls in the Mekong Delta region consider getting married with foreigners as chances to change their lives. But many of them have to divorce and return home in pains.

Phuc Loc 1 hamlet in Trung Nhut commune, Thot Not district, Can Tho province has nearly 6,000 people and 56 girls who tided up foreigner, mainly Taiwanese and Korean men.

We came to a typical family there which has eight children. The fifth child told us that their family had 3,500sq.m of field but recently this area was cut down largely since they had to give land for irrigation works. They have to work as hired workers or do small trade to earn their living.

The eighth girl in the family named Pham My Phuong worked for her relative in HCM City. Next to the house of her relative is the house of a Taiwanese family. A Taiwanese man in this house, who is a mechanic fell in love with Phuong and married her.

After the wedding ceremony, Phuong began to study Chinese. After three months, she could speak some popular sentences of conversations and she went to Taiwan.

Phuong said that her husband’s family is quite rich. Phuong lived with her husband and her mother-in-law. Her husband went to business from the morning to the evening and she stayed at home with the mother-in-law. Her job was cooking and taking care of the house only.

The life was quite easy for Phuong, except for one thing: she couldn’t speak to anybody. She studied some Chinese but that’s popular Chinese while her mother speaks a local language.

Phuong and her mother-in-law couldn’t understand each other and gradually problems emerged.

Phuong wanted to learn many strange things in her husband’s land but she couldn’t. Sometimes she tried to learn but her mother-in-law didn’t understand and she thought that Phuong intentionally roused her.

Phuong’s husband taught her some Chinese at the evening but her Chinese skills was not improved much because her husband couldn’t speak Vietnamese while her Chinese was very bad. This situation made the couple tired.

Phuong got married in 2003 and initially she often called home and sent money to her family but after a period of time, she called home more often to cry and complain.

Hai, Phuong’s elder brother said: “She called home and told us that she wanted to divorce. My family was very worried for her. I told her to think carefully before making a decision. In 2005 she returned home with a divorce certification. That’s what she told us because the paper is in Chinese language that we don’t understand”.

“At the beginning we loved each others very much and we tried at our best to overcome the cultural barrier but gradually we realised that we couldn’t deal with it,” Phuong said.

“All members in the family became tired. My husband then supported my mother-in-law to upraid me. It was so happy when I came to Taiwan and so sad when I returned,” she added.

More than one year since she returned home, Phuong’s sadness was burnt out. Phuong met a friend of her fifth elder brother, a divorced man with two children, and they got married in April 2007. The couple now lives in Thot Not town with a small watch repairing shop.

An official of Phuc Loc 1 hamlet said that three girls who married foreigners have divorced and returned home. The cases of Phuong and those girls have made influences on girls who plan to seek a foreign husband.

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